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God help me.

I now have the urge to read Book!Neverending Story fanfic. Because it's got to exist. You know it does. Which scares the living crap out of me.

But I still wanna read some.

*regresses even further back to 12 years old*

ETA: I also now have the song 'Every Sperm is Sacred' stuck in my head. This is going to be a very long day.

Really really bored at work.

'In the beginning, it is always dark.'

According to Remus's wrist watch, it was 2:42 a.m. The true middle of the night, those dark hours where, when he was a child, he would believe that he could look out his window and see the world ending right before his eyes. It never happened though.

This night, however, came close.

The last battle had finally arrived, the one they had been waiting for with grim anticipation since that night three years ago when Voldemort had exhumed his body from the abyss Harry had sent it into the first time around. It had started during the daytime, one of those bright and sparkling spring days where it looks as if nothing could go wrong at all. Then quite suddenly Death Eaters swarmed the Hogwarts grounds, and the rest, as they say, is history.

As night began to fall the ground got sodden with blood and bodies unmarred from the light of Avada Kedavra. The Order had lost some of their own also, painful but unsurprising.

Then, finally, finally, finally, there was an eye searing flash of light, an echoing burst of phoenix-song, and it was over. Ash and crumpled robes were all that was left of Voldemort. A good number of Death Eaters were taken out with the light as well; being that inextricably bound to their master they died with him as well.

But oh, Harry. He was too still, and cold to the touch. It was the ultimate sacrifice, Remus thought, to give one's own life for the sake of others, and Remus wished that it was his life that was the trade. A tired old werewolf who had already had his share of life should have been the one to die, rather than a young man who just wanted to live peacefully. It was fitting, then, that the muggle technique of mouth to mouth resuscitation made him breath again. Harry was still unconscious though, and resting in the hospital wing about four floors below Remus's current position.

'In the beginning, it is always dark.'

The chair was comfortable and the view of the lake under the waning moon attractive, if Remus could ignore the MLES and Ministry lackeys attempting to make sense of the battleground below. It wasn't like this the first time around, where things had ended with the whimper of one special baby boy. This was a bang, clashing and screaming and moaning like the avenging angels (and maybe a few demons) of the apocalypse. Remus sighed and tipped his head onto the back of the chair. He could feel the strands of his hair were sticky and matted together; there was a cut somewhere on his scalp, but he'd find where it was later. He'd do everything later: sleep, bathe, eat, recover. Right now, he was just going to sit and not think, not even about the end of all things.

Without realizing, Remus drifted off into that semi-haze that only happens when it's late at night and you know you should be sleeping but you also know it won't be happening anytime soon. He saw the faces of all of them who had gone before, James, Lily, Sirius, oh God, Sirius... They were proud of all of them, of what a fine young man Harry had turned into, of how well Remus had taught him over the past few years. They were more than happy to reassure him it would be a good long while before they'd see each other in person again, and that wasn't exactly a bad thing. As melancholy as Moony was, the fighting heart inside him realized that there was always something to live for, even if it couldn't be seen right away.

The door to the tower room creaked open, sending Remus bolt upright in the chair with his wand pointing over the back of it, ready to fire if necessary. "It's just me," Tonks whispered hastily, creeping into the room with her broken arm bound tightly to her midsection.

"Oh, Merlin, sorry about that," Remus sighed, slumping back down into the cushions.

"S'okay," she said, coming up behind him. "I just wanted to let you know that Harry's awake and doing fine. He'd like to see you, although he said not to wake you up if you were asleep."

"That sounds more like something Molly would say rather than Harry," he replied, looking up to see her blushing slightly in the moonlight.

"Well, yeah, but Harry agreed with her."

Remus looked back out the window. "So he was dead for a little while, but came back to life."

"That's what it looks like. Even by wizarding standards that's a strange one."

"Sometimes a symbolic death is much more potent than a real one could ever be," Remus murmured. "The ending and the beginning all in one for people to see and truly appreciate." His eyes locked on the figures moving below, and his ears could just pick out a few joyful cheers here and there, saying that the evil was finally gone and they could breathe just that much easier. "Tell Harry I'll be down there in a little while; I'd just like to get cleaned up first."

"Will do." She walked out, leaving a still pensive Remus gazing out the window. This time though, there was a slight smile just gracing the corner of his lips.

'In the beginning, it is always dark.'


Italicised quote from The Neverending Story movie.